


kisses

by ClockworkDinosaur



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Depression, F/F, One Shot, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Short, it's sad lalonde time, soft angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-28 23:01:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12617496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClockworkDinosaur/pseuds/ClockworkDinosaur
Summary: Some days are better than others.





	kisses

**Author's Note:**

> sometimes you just need to write 3000 angst fics centered around your favorite character and thats okay

Some days were better than others.

When she woke up early, made her coffee and helped her wife make breakfast, when she put on jeans and a t-shirt and went for a walk and helped in the garden, when she fired witticisms off without a thought- those were the best days. Days to be cherished and remembered, when the sun broke free of the clouds.

It was obvious pretty early that it was not going to be one of those days.

Noon passed without a word as Kanaya busied herself with her sewing project. It was mindless and her thoughts often twisted back to Rose.

She was still asleep when Kanaya awoke, which was common enough, but when it took her this long to follow, Kanaya knew it was a bad day.

She set her project aside, worry wrecking her focus. She went back to the bedroom to find Rose still in bed, hair pulled into a short poofy ponytail and her face blank. A pillow was clutched in her arms, legs pulled up to her chest, and eyes wide open. It was clear she hadn't moved yet and had no intention of doing so.

Kanaya laid next to her, pulling her as close as the pillow between them would allow. Rose said nothing, only just relaxing into the embrace. Kanaya runs her hands down her back softly, knowing touch made Rose feel a bit better.

“Can I do anything, sweetheart?” Kanaya finally asks softly. The silence drags on long enough for Kanaya to wonder if Rose had heard her at all.

“Perhaps you could perform some sort of hard reset on my life. Make it so I was born normal, given a normal family and a normal life and none of the game bullshit happened. None of the abuse, neglect, manipulation, death, trauma... Just wipe it all away,” she finally says blankly.

Kanaya pulls her closer and grabs her hands. Rose finally looks up, eyes not meeting Kanaya's and face drawn.

Without thinking, Kanaya begins playing with Rose's fingers, interlocking their fingers together, tracing around them, feeling her warm skin and the bandaids around her bitten-down nails. She brings her left hand to her lips and kisses her thumb.

“You've gone through more than anyone should have asked of you,” she says. “But you made it.”

Another kiss, now on the tip of her pointer finger. “And you are not alone, you have family and friends who care about you and will continue to do so forever, even though days like this.”

Another kiss. “And I love you more than you could ever imagine, for every aspect of you.”

Kiss. “Your razor wit.”

Kiss. “Your strength.”

Kanaya pulls Rose's right hand closer, places her lips on her other thumb. “Your beauty.”

Pointer finger. “Your humor.”

Middle finger. “Your creativity.”

Ring finger. “Your patience.”

Pinkie finger. “Everything about you, Rose. I could kiss every inch of your skin and still have much to say afterwords.”

Rose still isn't meeting Kanaya's eyes, but tears track down her face and into the pillow underneath her head.

“I don't... deserve this. After everything, I shouldn't have you. I shouldn't have a perfect life. How many people died for this? Why was I chosen?”

“The game we played was cruel and unfair. I don't have the answers and I fear nobody does. All you can do is live. You didn't make the choice for this to happen. You didn't choose for your world to end as it did when you were so very young. It is not your fault,” Kanaya says with conviction.

Rose doesn't reply. She tosses the pillow aside and curls up against Kanaya's chest. They both ignore the shuddering sobs that wrack her body. All Kanaya can do is rub her back until she stills, breathing even and slow.

Some days are harder than others, but never will there be a day where she suffers alone.

 

**Author's Note:**

> [writing blog](https://clockwork-dinosaur.tumblr.com/)
> 
> comments are much appreciated always


End file.
